70: Relationship Coaching with David Steele

Relationship Coaching sits beneath the umbrella of life coaching as its own specialty. So many people are looking for happiness in their relationships. Whether they are single and looking to find “The One,” or they are having hard times with their current partner. Deep down, many of us want a partner for life, a soul mate. Why are these special people so difficult to find? How do we coach our clients who are searching for love? My guest today has a few ideas for anyone interested in the niche of Relationship Coaching.

David Steele got his start as a Marriage and Family Therapist but then fell in love with coaching. In 1997, he founded the Relationship Coaching Institute, the first of its kind. He is the author of Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life That You Love and Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure. David speaks from experience. He has been divorced twice but has found his soulmate in his wife, Darlene. He is living out his dreams of adventure on a sailboat, where he is thrilled to continue his coaching practice.

Today, David is going to teach us the very same tools he uses with clients. For David, instead of giving advice, he prefers to use open-ended coaching paradigms for helping his clients understand relationships and develop effective relationship strategies and skills. For example, he explains a useful paradigm for coaching singles he calls his Four Steps for Conscious Dating: “Scout, Sort, Screen and Test.”. He also teaches us the power of managing expectations and establishing what he calls “Requirements, Needs, and Wants,” another relationship coaching paradigm. As coaches, we offer possibility but don’t play the expert in the coaching dyad. The beauty of coaching lies in our ability to change lives as an act of service, rather than an act of egoism. You can do so much to transform a life simply by being yourself.

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• David celebrates the flexibility of the coach’s lifestyle.
• How David describes the specialty of relationship coaching.
• The difference between relationship coaching and a therapist providing couples therapy.
• We all have problems that hold us back, but finding success is the key to unlocking our happiness.
• Coaches can support relationships in a unique and highly effective way.
• You can prepare while you are single to set yourself up for success in your desired long-term relationship.
• How coaches can use open-ended coaching paradigms to help their clients with their relationships.
• A coach is needed to help clients get 100% out of their lives.
• Good coaches don’t claim to be a dating guru. We do claim to help our clients get results and find happiness!
• You have to let go of attachment to being the expert with your client to be a better coach.

Resources:

Check out the Relationship Coach Starter Kit
thecommunicationmap.com